People often ask me, “How are you and Brian?” “So, hows your love life?” and its constantly asked over and over. I always answer back truthfully, “Good!”. But from the looks of their faces, they doubt me. As if they want me to break down and tell them the opposite.
I don’t understand why people crave for other’s sadness. I’ve been noticing it quite a lot lately. It’s as if they want to see you crash and burn, just for their entertainment.
I know some of them are just asking to know how you’ve been doing and if you’re happy. Those are the rare people that actually do have a warm, beat heart.
Others though… they just want you to toil in pain, rolling in hot ember. Those people, you need to distance yourself from. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. They wear a thick mask to conceal their true intentions. Then they proceed by gaining your trust and break down your once iron wall. Once broken, they will attack you so fast that you won’t even notice right away what has occurred. They will twist a knife so deep, the scar will never completely disappear.
I still have this scar. That blurred image of someone that I actually thought liked me. I guess I was wrong. Apparently, I took something that they wanted to possess, something that once meant so much to them. Something they have lost long ago when they didn’t want it anymore. I honestly don’t understand what I have done to be treated this way, I honestly want everyone to be happy and not to hate me. But life doesn’t flow that way, life is harsh. There will be always others that dislike you for no reason. Or reasons that are so pathetic.
For example, they could hate you for being alive. Or they could hate you for having a certain friends. Just juvenile, middle school things.
I’m just ranting because I really needed to let these thoughts out. I have been keeping so much on my mind. It’s silly to just stress about it.
I hope everyone is doing well and thinking happy thoughts. I know I will after this. <3
I need this video on loop for 24 hours and I probably still won’t be over it…
BEST FUCKING THING OF MY LIFE.